Consider, for example, the most recent model Mercedes Benz or Volvo, which creates a profile of you (and up to 6 other drivers) based on your driving traits.  While you’re driving, it matches your profile against the driving scenario – how long you’ve been driving for, the time of day or night, your ability to coordinate your steering, etc.  Maybe you’re kind of swerving, or jerking the car back into lane, or you’ve been driving for five hours straight or it’s 3:00 a.m.  The car knows these things.  When it senses that something isn’t quite kosher, it alerts you with a buzzer and an icon on the dashboard (of a coffee cup, naturally) flashes.

The Saab goes one better.  While it incorporates much of the same wake-up features as the other imports, it also vibrates the driver’s seat.  Of course, that vibration might have the opposite effect on some drivers… nothing like a great massage while you’re speeding along at 90 mph, is there?

The fact is a good anti-theft device may be expensive, but you have to understand that if you have a good system, your car insurance may offset the cost of it.  Intrigued?  You should be.  Depending on where in the country you live, your state insurance regulator may require, by law, that the insurer to give you a discount, sometimes up to 35% of your car insurance premium.  And even if its not decreed by law, shopping around for a different insurer may net you the discount that will allow you to put in that expensive car tracking or anti-theft system.

Even if you don’t have the expensive kind, most anti-theft devices should get you an insurance discount.  The only exception may be those types of devices which you have to manually set – insurers just can’t rely on your say-so that you remembered to put on or activate your anti-theft device.  Generally, the more high tech your anti-theft gadgetry, the higher your discount.

For maximum discounts on your car insurance, layer those “cheap” anti-theft devices like the Club, keyless remotes and VIN etching.  When it comes to protecting your car, there’s no such thing as over-kill.

A good alarm system.  But good alarm systems cost money; something that not everyone has in this economy.  Even if you let your Lo-jack subscription expire, you’ve still got that sticker in the window don’t you?  Why the heck not?  Go get a sticker or decal for their anti-theft service, or any similar car tracking service, and display it proudly in your window.  Now, that may or may not stop a professional thief who will know how to disable the system, but it will stop an opportunistic petty thief.

You might also want to consider making your car a little less appealing.  A car that is scratched up and dented isn’t any fun to steal… “Jeez, Joe, if you were gonna boost a car couldn’t you have found one that didn’t look like something my crazy Uncle Elmo would drive?”  Make it so that even a car thief wouldn’t be caught dead in it.  Can’t do it yourself?  Let your kids key the car a bit, or ride into it with their bicycle or scooter.  Is that still too drastic for you?  You can actually buy faux rust and scratch stickers that you put on your vehicle to make it look like someone’s already trashed it.  A cheapskate sticker comes to your rescue, again.

“Oh, these are my [friends/family/co-workers] they’d never steal from me,” you’re thinking.  Think again.  Friends bring other friends, families bring their kids and their kids’ friends, co-workers bring spouses.  In a large group of people, someone among them may have sticky fingers.  Bad enough if they’re pawing through your medicine cabinet; worse still if they’re pocketing your car keys.

And let’s say that – in the interest of giving some invalid guest easy access to the house – you’ve moved your car around the corner.  Out of sight, in other words.  Someone with your car keys only has to walk around the block, open the door, lean inside and take what they want.  Even if someone spots them, a good liar can spin a yarn like a spider does a web… “Oh, Ms. Jones wanted me to grab her coupons out of the car.”  Yeah, and they’re always shoved inside a laptop case.

Don’t tempt fate.  When company comes, keep your car keys as well hidden as your best jewelry and finest silver.  And go clean out your medicine cabinet while you’re at it.  Do you really want someone testing out your toothbrush?

Help the right way.

• Turn on your hazard or warning lights.
• Check to see if anyone is injured; understand that it’s usually the quiet ones you’ve got to worry about, not the screaming raving lunatics.
• Call 911 or whatever emergency number you need to dial on your cell phone; provide as exact a location as possible, using mileage post markings if needed.
• Try to record the details as you note them, either in writing or on your phone; you may be required to offer testimony or evidence at a future date.
• Don’t move anyone unless there is danger of fire or explosion.
• Offer first aid if you’re qualified to do so.
• Offer comfort if you’re not qualified to do anything else.  Often that’s the most important thing of all.

Above all, stay calm; the victims are stressed out enough, they don’t need you whacking them out any more.

Eight hundred people were asked whether or not they would intervene if they heard a car alarm.  Only 5% surveyed said that they would call the police.  On the other hand, 41% of the respondents said that they’d do “something” about an annoying car alarm.  They’d either leave a note on the car or complain to the police; some would even trash the car in an attempt just to turn that annoying alarm off.

Car thieves aren’t at all hampered or threatened by car alarms; the majority of them can circumvent an audible alarm system in a matter of moments.

Have you heard the story of a man who intentionally set off a car alarm, waited a few minutes to see if anyone would notice and then broke the car’s window to steal the contents?  He got away with everything inside.  True story.

How pointy are your elbows?  Can you knock someone’s eye out with them?  Are they registered as deadly weapons with Homeland Security?  Do you think your elbow could knock a car window out, say in a water emergency?  Statistics have shown that more than 10,000 individuals are in a water-related accident each and every year.  At least 300 people die, trapped in their cars – under water – on an annual basis.

Granted, some deaths are because of a jammed seat belt, but more often than not, the death is because the door couldn’t be opened, or the window rolled down.  In cars with manual windows, that’s not so much of an issue, but in newer cars with electric windows, once the electrical system is shorted out, the window can’t be rolled up or down.  And the car’s occupant has to wait (and wait and wait) until the pressure on the inside of the car is equal to the pressure on the outside of the car.  What that means is that the car has to fill up with water until you can open the door.  Most people will panic long before that happens, and use what little oxygen they’ve got in the car.

Unless you’re Steve Austin (either Stone Cold or the Six Million Dollar Man-your choice) your elbows will probably not be strong enough to break out a car window.  So how will you get out?  Well, there are several very handy, portable (i.e. attachable to a key chain) gadgets that may just be able to save your life.  With any one of them, you just punch out the window as you’ve learned from whichever gadget you buy, and swim to safety (your goal is up).

So maybe you don’t want to waste money on a key chain that you might never ever have to use.  But it’s so cute, and a sure conversation starter, so why the heck not buy one?  Because you never ever know.

Wife:               Well, can’t we just call and tell the bank that we don’t want the car anymore and let them take it back?

Husband:         Are you crazy?  Think what that will do to our credit report!

Wife:               Oh.  Well, how about selling it?

Husband:         And just who’s going to be buying a $35,000 car in this economy?  Donald Trump?  Ha!  Maybe someone will steal it.

Wife:               We should be so lucky.

Husband:         Yeah, we should be so lucky… hmmm.

Apparently, the poor state of the U.S. economy is driving good people to do bad things.  Growing numbers of individuals are committing fraud and reporting car theft where there is none.  Why?  Because they can’t afford their car payments, they’re worried about repossession or having a judgment placed against their credit report, or they simply desperately need the money.  All of them are good reasons, but certainly not good enough to commit insurance fraud.

Reports are coming in from all across the country about how individuals are claiming their car has been stolen and then filing a claim with their insurance company.  In fact, the owners have been charged with engineering the so-called theft and abandoning, torching or even sinking the car into a river.

Insurers and law enforcement are wise to this new “theft” scheme, so if this has been playing in your mind of late, it’s time to forget about it.  There are worse things than a bad credit rating – it’s called a criminal record.